Firm Foundation

Can we just be honest for a second? Life isn’t easy. Circumstances and feelings can make it hard. Even good circumstances and feelings are fleeting. What makes it even harder is that we often can feel alone and try to bear the burden all by ourselves. If I’m being honest I’ve felt this way, and I even kind of feel this way right now. In life, the unexpected often happens and it pulls us in a bunch of different directions. It is when we ask all these questions we must ask, is there even a purpose? Even if there is a purpose then what foundation are we to build this on. 4 years ago in 2019 I wouldn’t have this answer for you. 3 years ago I wouldn’t have had this answer for you. Even 2 years ago I didn’t have this answer. I find it fitting though that as I write this article, a year ago today I encountered God through the person of Jesus Christ in a way that I never have before. 

January 14th, 2022 my 20th birthday. Usually birthdays are a fun day filled with lots of different emotions. That day I was going to a Toronto Raptors game with one of my best friends. If you know me I am a huge Raptors fan and love going to games. From a worldly perspective this seemed like an amazing day. Only something was missing, there was a longing in my heart that I couldn’t explain to you. At the time I was still mourning the loss of one of the closest people in my life. His death not only reminded me of how short life was, but made me wonder what the purpose of life really is. It caused me to question that filling myself with entertainment and trying to regulate my emotions may not be able to fulfill the deepest longings of my own heart. Due to this longing I was experiencing, I called a friend over who I knew was a devout follower of Jesus. Oftentimes he scared me with his (out of the ordinary christian) lifestyle, but in my time of need all I knew was I needed prayer and he was the only person I could think of that could. He started praying and telling me he was hearing from God. I didn’t really believe him until he started saying very specific things God wanted to set me free from. He then started to reveal numbers that had a very specific meaning towards me that God was trying to use to set me free from pain. 

You’d think this would change everything and I would give my life to Jesus right then and there. Wrong. While the numbers provided me momentary comfort it scared the living daylight out of me. It made me realize God really is real, which then made me ask what does God want from me? Do I have to actually change my life and start living according to his word? While I didn’t outwardly say “no thanks” my actions reflected it. I wanted his forgiveness but I didn’t want what came with it which was a surrendered life. So while I made some effort to change I still lived life the way I used to. Sure, I was going to church every Sunday throughout the year and praying sometimes and trying “to be better”. But I never surrendered. It wasn’t until November where it all finally caught up with me and I really couldn’t do it anymore. It was at that time I not only wanted to stop what I was doing but I was genuinely terrified. I knew I needed to stop but that wasn’t just enough, I needed forgiveness. I felt that what I had done had crossed over what was forgivable. 

On December 12th, 2022 I remember crying in my room and writing down all the bad things I had done on a piece of paper. I cried out to God, “God I don’t believe you can forgive me but if you can please make it very clear” He certainly did. That night at a Met by love worship night, someone I had never met in my life came up to me and pointed to a board that had been written on before I even walked in the room. It read a turquoise hoodie and neon green shoes. Exactly what I was wearing. She then asked me “if I felt as though I could not be forgiven” which was exactly how I was feeling. She then made it clear God loved me and wanted to forgive me and said he was asking “what is holding me back from experiencing this forgiveness”. I can’t make it more clear, this was the best moment of my life to date. I felt a grace and mercy I had never experienced before. A grace and a mercy that I didn’t deserve, and the only thing that can genuinely change my heart and change my life.  To make it perfectly clear there were a few times after this I messed up but I remember in February really truly repenting and turning away from that sin. As I look back at my life since, the addictions and problems I had are no more. I was born again and given new life in Jesus. 

In Jesus I found someone that is lord over my circumstances, feelings, and loneliness. A God that carried the burden of sin and death himself by dying on the cross for our sins so that we may have a new life if we simply accept Him as our Lord and savior. We always try to do it our own way. But what if for a second we asked ourselves if His way was infinitely better. What if the foundation He asks us to build our life on, is not only what will save us in the end from our own destruction, but will actually give us the fulfillment of our hearts and desires that we were really longing for. I’m still navigating my faith and what living fully surrounded to Jesus should look like,  but I now know I have a foundation to build my house on. A foundation that may bend at times, but will never break.

Written by SAU Marketing student Ryan Loganadhan